I thought I’d do something different in this blog.

As usual, I invite you to contemplate a particular topic, for now, resolutions. If this is your “thing”, you might even want to do the wee exercise below. You don’t need anything, maybe your phone for writing or pen and paper. If this is not your thing, skip the following few paragraphs. Doing what works is a crucial principle in the Solution Focused world.

The exercise:

I’d invite you to think through the following steps:

• If you already have a goal/aspiration/resolution for 2024, think about what difference it would make to reach that goal. If it’s a “negative” goal, such as “I wanna stop snoozing my alarm”, think about what you would like to have instead of that.
• Consider what difference reaching this goal would make to the person closest to you or your family and friends.
• Imagine waking up tomorrow morning with your goal/aspiration/resolution already present. What would be the very first thing you would notice?
• Also, think about how other people would see you reached that goal. What else would you notice as you go by your day?

This is a simplified version of the “best hopes and “preferred future” question I usually do in the first session. The variations are endless; this is just one way to start a session. If you want to learn more about my practice, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say your aspiration for 2024 is to use less social media, and you want to stop “doom-scrolling” and checking your phone a lot. I’d ask, what would you like to have instead? You might say you want to be more present and efficient with your precious free time.

I’d ask, what difference would this make to the person closest to you? You might say… well, I feel I’d be more present with my partner/family/flatmate, colleagues/etc. The variations are endless.

Next, imagine you wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly feel more present and efficient with your precious free time. What would be the very first thing you would notice? How would you know you’re more efficient with your precious free time and more present? What would a person close to you see about you? How would they respond?

You can go through your day. Be relentless and persistent; only think about how the resolution present would change your life. You might need to consider it a bit, but do not forget to put your description into your everyday reality because that’s where we live, not in some utopia. This is not about miracles; it’s about creating a different narrative through language.

For People With No Resolutions

• If this practice of contemplating aspirations is not your thing, that’s also equally as wonderful. You know best what works for you. Renewal can happen anytime; change can start on a Tuesday afternoon or in March.
• Some people think it’s good to start the new year with fresh goals, but not “some people” live your life – it’s you, only you. In the Solution Focused approach, we value your agency and autonomy above all.
• If you don’t have the energy for this, consider how you currently deal with life’s circumstances. How on earth are you surviving this difficult time? What resources are you particularly leaning on to survive/cope with every day? This is a gentle contemplation that you may not want to do now, and that’s okay.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this exercise or any resolutions, goals, or changes you’re contemplating for the new year. Please leave a comment below to share an example from your life or ask any questions.

And if you found this post meaningful, I invite you to share it with someone in your life who may benefit from a little new year reflection.